Our stories have the ability to limit or expand how we show up in the world. We use language to tell stories about ourselves and the world we live in. Behind our language lies an emotional state of being. This emotional state defines how we view a situation or the world at large. Our stories do not live in isolation.
Each story reveals a pattern that is part of a larger story we tell about ourselves. Our character is built upon the stories we tell ourselves and language we use to articulate them in conversation. We do not intentionally set out on the path. We just arrive unknowingly at this destination.
Think about a tree for a minute. Trees are full of branches and leaves. Leaves are the stories we tell about ourselves, people, situations, politics, and opinions. Branches represent a story pattern of core beliefs we hold. As we continue down the main trunk of the tree, core beliefs merge into a coherent pattern. Invariably, no matter which branch we start down, we will find a story we are telling ourselves that is limiting our ability to grow beyond our current comfort zone. Our everyday stories are wrapped around the core fundamental stories that are holding us back.
Our ego uses stories for self-preservation and to protect us from any unforeseen harm. We are design and engineered to resist change. It’s no wonder we fight change with a vengeance. Think about it, for most of us being asked to do something out of our normal everyday routine triggers and immediate “NO WAY JOSE.” We have all these built-in resistant mechanism to keep us in the safety of our comfort zone. Status quo rules the day.
There is good news for those of us who have had enough of the status quo and are ready to see what possibilities await us. Change is possible, but it is really tough to do alone. If you are interested in change, then I urge you to find a coach now. I have used several coaches with great success. Each of these coaches has been able to help me remove my resistance to change, expand my perspective, and design a new behavior to rid myself of the self-limiting story I was telling. Coaching helped me and it can help you.
We communicate through our language, so coaches start the conversation by using targeted interview questions as the primary method for helping you uncover “why” behind our stories. Identify “why” these stories are important to us is the first step in creating our desired change. Understanding the language and emotional patterns hidden in our stories empower us better communicate our desires to the world. Instead of a haphazard approach, we are now able to do so with conscious intention.
Every coach has their own questioning and discovery process. Some of the questions I have used are:
What purpose do these stories serve you? What emotional state are you using to tell your story? Why do you value this story? What intention do you have for holding on to this story? How is your energy being cultivated or suppressed by your story? What story do you want to communicate to yourself, to your loved ones, to the world at large? What commitment are you willing to make to change your story?
The solutions to our challenges are found within the stories we tell while answering these questions. Our individual story patterns are inner related to each other. Success comes by avoiding story isolation and building a supporting pattern of beliefs. Identifying our core story creates an expansive space for us to design a practice to remove the power that story currently holds and restores our desired state of being. Intentional conscious effort is required to identify and change our stories.
We expand our possibilities by changing our story, by changing the current relationship with ourselves and with the world we live in.
What story do you want to tell?
