Football Follies

Joe, now is the time to start pulling out your secret weapons– show your new friends your real-life talents, skills and abilities. You need to demonstrate that you are as serious about your work as you are about having fun. Maybe for every hour you spend researching football make a commitment to spend an hour creating opportunities to prove your value at work.

Have lunch with one of the football people but be prepared to steer the conversation towards a work-related subject you find mutually interesting. Make sure that co-worker is someone you admire.

No one respects a doormat but everyone loves a flying carpet. Be confident in what you know, and always conscious that you can and should learn more. Offer to take the lead on something at work. Build trust with your colleagues, and show them they can count on you to do your job exceptionally well.

Take credit for your accomplishments. Just remember that in the grand scheme of things, what you accomplish career-wise isn’t remotely as important as how you treat other people along the way. In many ways, your relationships with others will determine in part how far you go. So don’t be intimidated by people. Intimidating people are really just aggravating; people are only aggravating when we need to build patience.

Be kind, be the success you are and you’ll be fine.

K,

I love the lightness and levity used in your speech to “Joe.” I believe this style of approach is what would best serve him. Thank you for giving him a much needed pep talk.

“Take credit for your accomplishments” is something that does not come naturally to most people. My siblings and I were taught not to boast about our accomplishments. Being boastful or to brag was not a proper way to act or behavior. We grew up more motivated by pleasing our parents then by being rewarded for our actions. As adults, we do not seek the approval of others, we just do it. We are results oriented.

Up until recently, I did not need the recognition or approval of others to generate a feeling of intense satisfaction and acceptance inside. At least, that is the story I told myself for years and years. As I have unwound my emotional enmeshment of my state of being, I quickly discovered part of my story was complete hogwash. I no longer enjoyed my individual accomplishments. Something was missing. Something many people had hinted to me. Something I was not ready to see until I was. I began to crave group interaction and being a part of a team. I learned to redefine what “results” meant to me.

Living in gratitude was a foreign concept to me. I am learning to accept the gratitude of people who extend it to me. I used to brush off individual compliments and recognition as not important. Even if they are not important to me, they are important to the people who extended them to me. Those people appreciate something about me, that have been unable to appreciate about myself. My natural state is to shut the door. The more I receive gratitude, the easier it is to keep the door wide open.

By letting go of my attachment to my story, I have released my inner critic and created a more authentic loving space for people to know the true me, and for me to know the true them.