5 keys to fostering healthy creative relationships

by davidmcgraw

in Communication, Control, Learning, Relationships

Let’s get this out-of-the-way…you are CREATIVE.  

Creativity is not reserved for the budding artists or musicians. It’s an integral part of who we are. The only thing that separates you from someone you view as more creative is a steady practice of using and developing your creative skills.

Creative people explore ideas, identify and solve problems, take risks, and expand the scope of what is possible. They are less self-interested and are more willing to engage and take a stronger interest in their own life.

Bubbling with creative energy, you are passionately alive.

Yet, much of society operates in a command and control environment. I ask, you do. Conditional relationships rule the day. Society isn’t fostering healthy creative relationships, it is attempting to dictate and control your behavior.

Is that how you want to live your life? 

Me neither. The only thing we can control is how we choose to show up and act. We have no one to blame. We are responsible for our own actions and behavior. We choose to store or release our creative energy. We choose to be creative or not.

Five keys to  fostering healthy creative relationships.

  1. Freedom is control over our personal autonomy. Over control stifles our creative juices. People are more creative for others than they are for themselves. Give them permission to freely contribute in their own unique way. Help them feel they can work outside the scope of what’s asked of them, and think for themselves. Focus less on how things are done and more on outcome. Set people free, and you will set yourself free.
  2. Friendlies encourage the quality of interaction over fierce competition. Create an environment where people support and add to each other’s contribution. Build interpersonal relationships that transcend an us versus them mentality. Reward collaboration over credit taking. Allow people to fail and to admit they don’t know what they don’t know. Encourage them to ask for help. Listen to their questions or concerns. Help them find the answers they seek. Curiously explore together. Be friendly.
  3. Fun is playful behavior sparks our senses. We feel, taste, smell, imagine, hear, and follow the bliss of the moment. When we play…we prioritize every moment through curiosity, spontaneous adventure, and the value it will add to the fun factor. Fun reduces over inhibitions and raises our resistance to control. Life is suddenly less serious. Are we having fun yet?
  4. Feedback  is a two-way conversation between mature adults. Be open and honest with people. Try not to judge or singled them out. When we judge, we  place conditions on relationships. I will only support you if you do x, y, and z. Judging is exactly what we do every time we complain, talk down to, or talk about someone behind their back. It takes 12 positive interactions to overcome the effects of one negative interaction. Spend more time thanking and praising people, and less time tear down their self-esteem. All change begins with you changing you attitude towards them. Next time you want to tear a person down, honestly ask yourself, what am I missing here? How can I help make this situation better? Accept responsibility for how you behave. Choose to unconditionally accept people for who they are. People who feel accepted for who they are will feel safe in sharing their ideas and contributing to yours. They will choose to seek and explore with you.
  5. Flow is when time no longer matters. We are lost in the process of creation. We explore without succumbing to the pressure of our resistance. Passion and curiosity lead us to where we need to go. We follow without hesitation. We gladly jump into the river and let the current take us away. Flow invites more flow. Let go. Find your flow.

Your boundless creative energy is waiting to emerge. Release your conditional restraints and let your creativity flow. Find your key to becoming a creative genius.

Be the creative rock star I know you are.

What action can you take right now to release your creative energy?

  • http://twitter.com/SMSJOE Joseph Ruiz

    The 5 “F”‘s of creativity good stuff my friend, unleashing the creative in all of us – love the concept.

  • http://wevivify.com/ David McGraw

    Thanks Joe! I love the way you are embracing video and exploring new ways to expand your comfort zone. Can’t wait to see where to go with it.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Birkett/100001154480901 Steve Birkett

    As I’ve mentioned, David, I love the ‘Fun’ element you’ve highlighted in particular. Too often ‘play’ is taken seen as the antithesis of productive ‘work’, which leads to exactly the command & control environment you mention. 

    I also want to explore the wider artistry angle a lot more in coming weeks and months. I think it’s a fundamental shift in the way we look at our lives, professional and personal, which could hold significant potential for the future of the  job market. Thanks for sparking the creativity behind that! 

  • http://wevivify.com/ David McGraw

    My pleasure Steve.  I look forward to seeing where your heart takes you. 

  • http://www.instantdane.tv Dane Findley

    Feedback is a funny one. I’ve recently recognized that some people ask for constructive feedback, because they want to be the type of person who can ask for it (it’s our trendy culture of personal growth!), even though in reality they might not be truly ready to receive it.

    For this reason, I’ve been emphasizing kindness even more lately, sharing what I recognize as positive.  Sometimes, we simply have to leave it to other to eventually recognize the patterns in their own lives and at their own pace.

      { twitter = @danenow:twitter }

  • http://wevivify.com/ David McGraw

    Yes, feedback is a fun subject. Funny how the universe works.  

    About an hour prior to your comment I had a good colleague give me some feedback that did not sit to well with me at first. I had never thought about his observation before. 

    My initial reaction was of shock and defensive disagreement. I recognized my emotions beginning to control my thinking. My internal conversation kicked into high gear and began to rationalize all the reasons for his POV. 

    I asked him to expand upon his thoughts. While he continue to talk, I took a few deep breaths and re-centered myself. As my emotions began to relax, I began to laugh internally. 

    Silly me, his intention was to help, not tear me down. 

    I was able to re-enter the conversation with fresh perspective and curiosity. We proceeded to have a robust conversation. I learned more about him and about myself. I can confidently say our working relationship grew stronger today. 

    Kindness is a 2-way street. We must express kindness to the person we are conversing with and we must express kindness to ourselves. 

    Sharing our perspective to another person requires courage. I try to ground my observations by trying to separate what part of the story is me and what part is them. I do not always succeed, but I always learn something about myself.

    Practicing compassion and kindness has always served me well. Not practicing inevitability leads me to show up in ways I am not proud of. 

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