Ever try driving a car with no hands and the peddle to the metal? Fear sets in…we are going to DIE!!! We pray for an unending straight away with no obstacles. Only one thing can result from this kind of reckless behavior…an epic crash!!!

Putting our hands on the steering wheel dramatically increases the thrill and excitement as we negotiate the road at high-speed. Heart-pumping adrenaline rush…we are alive!!!

Living without a sense of what we want is akin to driving with no hands on the wheel. An epic crash awaits without taking proactive action towards creating the life we desire.

What do you want?

Wants are not material desires. They are not the next iPhone or a new Macbook Air. Wants are much more satisfying and deeper than that. They are an emotional desire, something we crave or would like to accomplish. Desires excite and motivate us into action.

Determining our emotional wants does not come naturally. If it did, we would already know what we want and this discussion could end right here.

Passionate action comes from being connected to who we are, what we care about, and what we want. Here’s a few ways I’ve found helpful in determining what we want.

When was the last time you had conversation for future possibility with yourself?

In this conversation, you are only going to focus on what you want. Irrelevant thoughts, challenges, and risks will creep in. Acknowledge and park them in a parking lot for another time. This conversation is too important to let your resistance and fears get in the way.

Please try to avoid jumping straight into action. Reactive action puts us in the driver seat of a high-speed car without a steering wheel. Before we put our foot on the gas, we better be sure we want to travel down road in front of us.

Without wants, it’s easy to fall into the trap of doing to do.

Feeding our wants fuels our passion and thirst for life. We take action by following what is in our own heart. This is not what the market, your friends, or your family wants you to do. This is what do you and only you want.  Only you know what that is. Follow you.

What do you care about?  

Living our dreams is about committing to a world we care about. Operating on our cares enables us to be a part of something bigger than our selves. Freeing us to confidently be who we are in the world. The more connected you become to your cares, the easier it is to get behind the wheel and race at higher speeds.

What have you thought about doing, again and again, but have never started doing?

Thought, ideas, and feelings we repeatedly have are clues to what we desire most. What patterns of reoccurrence of these desires do you notice? Capture these events any way you can. Write a journal, take photos, shoot video, draw, paint, etc. Find a way to establish a tighter connect to what your heart desires. Need some guidance getting started? Take a quick personal inventory here.

The road of life is a journey that is full of heart pounding adrenaline pumping moments. Find what you want, and you will find all you are looking for.

What do you want?

Warning: Don’t believe this next statement unless you want to flourish.

We already know our future if we don’t continually take proactive action.

Our economic well-being demands perpetual reinvention. As the old saying goes, reinvent or die. This no longer a fancy tagline, it is required action to survive and succeed in today’s economic climate.

The days are long gone when a company could create a product and reap the rewards of its success for years to come.  Present day examples are all around you.

• Facebook was king of the castle and Twitter was the knight in shiny armor. Now there’s Google +. Remember MySpace? Me neither.
• Flip Camera ruled the pocket video cam game.  Now, your smartphone does.
• Mobile Apps are replacing websites and higher costs software programs.
• iPads are being integrated into the classroom and teaching our kids in a new way.

The list goes on and on. Product shelf lives are shrinking at a rapid pace.

New bright shiny objects capture the consumer attention faster than a speeding bullet. The masses will flock and cast aside what they once loved and cherished in favor of the new promised life-altering product. Blink and the next attraction will be on the horizon.

We already know our future if we don’t continually reinvent ourselves.

This concept does not stop at products; it extends into who you are, and what you want to be.

Look around at your co-workers, family, and friends. How many of them are doing jobs they are classically trained to do?  Are they highly skilled at their job or do their skills reside in a different area of expertise?  Are they satisfied and happy?

Chances are, these people are like most of the people I encounter every day. They are playing a role in their organization in order to survive, not thrive.

We can live a deeply meaningful life by continually reinventing ourselves.

Just like products run their course, so do roles we play in life.  We know our current role will come to an end.

Will we be ready when our new role emerges? Will it provide the deep personal meaning we are looking for?

We know everything we need to know right now to make a reasonable guess as to where things are headed.

Are you ready to reinvent?

Kids are brutally honest with their feelings, they know what they want, and they can resist change with every ounce of energy in their body.

My 3-year-old son wants to be like his oldest brother. He wants to play ice hockey. He DOES NOT want to skate.

His fears are putting up unnecessary walls of resistance. Whatever story he is telling himself makes him frightened to the point of an adamant NO.

I’m a strong believer in trying first, than deciding if you want to continue.  I refuse to accept NO without effort as a final response.

The local rink offered the perfect opportunity to give it a shot, they were hosting a fun and interactive learn to skate event. After a little encouragement, he stepped on the ice.

Watch what happens. Notice his progression out of his safety comfort zone into his empowered freedom zone.

Did you notice anything else?

Trying new things is what a kid’s life is all about. The learning doesn’t stop here.

I made this video to capture a life moment and to share it with my kids. I want them to be comfortable with living in a digital world. I want my kids to see how they show up in the world. I want them to learn from their experiences. More importantly, I want them to have fun celebrating the things they do and accomplish.

As a family, we celebrate these moments together. My son has watched this video 3 or 4 times. Each time he smiles and laughs at what he was able to do. His confidence and willingness to step into the unknown grows. He cannot wait to step on the ice again.

Inspired by my youngest son, my middle son asked to go skating today. He has refused to consider the possibility for over a year now. He is starring down his fears and I could not be any prouder.

At the time of this post, this video is less than 24 hours old and look at the impact it is having on my family life.  I felt inspired to share this story with you.

What do you feel inspired to do?

Society shines a light on successful people. We idolize and glorify their achievements. We secretly wish we were like them. The truth is we are. We just choose to live a life without the fanfare and paparazzi.

Believing you are a successful person is a personal choice only you can make. Daily life events make up the stories we tell ourselves. These stories make-up our perceived reality. The truth is, daily events in your life do not determine your life’s success, YOU DO.

We need to refine our success perspective by taking a machete to the overgrown story vines that hide our ability to see our truth. Hidden in our stories are undeniable hard facts. Living proof that something exists or has happened.

Facts by themselves are relatively boring. Adding emotional color gives them life and makes us feel safe and secure in the world.

Our truth lies in-between the stories we tell and the hard facts of our life.

By stripping away the emotional story wrappers we use to put a positives spin on daily life events, we find our truth.

Stop using stories to help you feel safe and secure in the world. Embrace and learn from the events that make you feel insecure and vulnerable. Honor your thoughts and feelings.

Finding your truth is your path to freedom. Real safety and security is found in knowing your truth.

The truth frees us to discover all the beauty and goodness in our life.

When we discover our truth, we will find the only way to live is to live by our TRUTH.

Fear not, the truth shall set us free.

You are a SUCCESSFUL PERSON right now. Live your truth!

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  - Plato

Plato wasn’t just talking about each of us having different perspectives. He was referencing our ability to see the inner beauty of the world around us. He was imploring us to activate our senses and fill our soul with wonderment.

A few years ago, I had an experience that changed my life. Prior to it, I thought I lived by Plato’s guidance. I thought I knew beauty and beauty knew me. I was wrong.

I was too self absorbed to understand the unlimited possibilities that come with wonderment. Occasionally, I ventured to the deep end. Mostly, I swam safely in the kiddie pool.

One day, something magical happened.  I was in a conference and a beautiful attractive athletic woman walked through the door. Her energy field was magnetic. I was drawn into her vortex. What happened next is so out of my personality I still can’t explain it.

I jumped out of my chair and went over to talk to her. The blood was pumping through my veins. She was strong, confident, out going, and athletic. She was perfect. I could have spent the rest of the day standing in the middle of the room listening to her stories.

Luckily, the conference was about to start and we had to return to our seats. I’m not sure if I would have been able to drag myself away without an excuse. As I returned to my seat, I asked myself what the hell just happened. Did I really just get up and run across the room to talk to someone I did not know? I am a happily married man. What am I doing? I was dazed and confused.

The conference began and I turned my attention to the subject at hand. I tried to distract my thoughts, but I couldn’t. I glance over to where she was siting. To my surprise, I did not see the same beautiful attractive athletic woman. Instead, I saw an uninspiring lonely woman 100lbs over weight sitting all by her self. She was part of the scenery, not the scenery.

I was no longer dazed and confused. I had clearly seen her inner beauty. I had a soul connection with a total stranger and we were one for that moment in time.

I was given a tremendous gift, the ability to recognize beauty in everything around me. I’ve spent the days since that moment curiously searching for inner beauty in others and myself.  I truly live in a state of wonderment.

How do you cultivate curiosity in your life?

Life is full of wonderful joyful moments. Glorious moments show up in all shapes and sizes.

Joy is ours to own and experience.

The best joyous experiences arrive unknowingly.

• Becoming a dad
• Kindness of strangers
• Quality Family Time
• Giving a yourself to others

I could write a longer more extensive list but that is not the point. Every day is filled with subtle opportunities to deliver us joy.

Joy is deeply personal.

Pure joy touches all the senses and knocks the experience out of the ballpark. Pure joy shakes us to the core. When the moment passes, we continue to physically and emotionally crave it.

I can recall an experience in vivid detail from 15+ years ago.  I often call this my “happy place.”

I was vacationing at Kiawah Island in the mid 90’s over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I really wanted to play golf at the Ocean Course but could not bring myself to drop a couple hundred dollars on a round.  So, I did the next best thing.  I drove to the course and used the practice facilities.

I immediately became lost in the moment.  Love at first step out of the car. My adrenaline was pumping, my heart was racing, and strangely, I had a calm sense of belonging. I was not an invited guest to this moment.  I was the moment and the moment was I.

As I chipped and putted on the greens, I felt my creative juices come alive. I was trying shots I had never attempted before. I was visualizing lines to the hole like never before. I felt invincible. I could make any shot I attempted. When I missed, I never gave it a second thought. I just let it go and moved on to the next shot.

Time went by. I was in complete flow.

I moved over to the driving range.  The only thing that separates the range from the beach is a thin set of sand dunes. I can still feel the gentle ocean breeze and hear the crashing of the waves. I was in heaven. The peaceful quiet splendor filled my heart with joy.  I relaxed like I never had before.

I was a very erratic golfer in those days. Barely broke the triple digits and sprayed the ball around the outfield with the best of them. I had fleeting moments, but never anything like this.

On that day, I hit golf shots with the greatest of ease. There wasn’t a shot I could not make.  I found joy in everything I did.

I have practiced on the Ocean Course 8-10 times since.  Each and every time I have found the same joy.  Living in joy is where I belong. Living in joy is where you belong.

What brings you pure joy?

Gratitude is the foundation of our happiness. Celebrating all the good we have in our lives warms our soul. We honor who we are at the deepest levels. We see the inner beauty we have to offer. We recognize the inner beauty of every one we meet.

Gratitude, don’t leave home without it!

As our genuine authentic self-bubbles to the surface, we communicate with heart. We love, serve, give, and add value first. We nurture and bring kindness to our relationships and ourselves. We see our relationships as an extension of ourselves.

We are one with our fellow-man.

I can oversell anything with the best of them. I don’t want to sell. I want you to experience gratitude for yourself.  I want you to own your gratitude. Sir Ken Robinson described it perfectly in his stellar book, “The Element.” Personal ownership comes in stages.

• Aptitude – I get it – Firm conceptual understanding
• Passion – I love it – We receive delight and pleasure from our experience
• Attitude – I want it – We have emotional connection
• Opportunity – Where is it? – We seek out this experience

In my last post, “30 days of Gratitude,” I invited you to join me in a daily practice of gratitude during the month of November.  By virtue of reading the last 2 posts, you have the aptitude and passion to fully experience all the good gratitude has to offer. The intention behind the design practice is to heighten your awareness beyond aptitude and passion by ascending to attitude and opportunity.

Put simply, to own your gratitude.

On November 1^st ,  you  have an opportunity to join a group in a month-long quest. Will you be joining us? Please join me in 30 days of daily status updates about something you are grateful.

If you are using Twitter, please add the hashtag #30Gratitude to your tweets so we can follow along and celebrate your success. On Facebook, “like” the WeVivify page and tag your status with WeVivify (@WeVivify).

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

The month of November is for sharing our gratitude with each other and ourselves. Many of us struggle to give and receive in our lives. We grow and lead from the struggles and challenges we faced. Creating awareness and taking on our struggles is a gateway to being our true authentic self in the world.

Genuine leadership requires ownership of our own challenges.

Much of my life, I have struggled to accept all the kindness and good in my life. I ignored or brushed it off. I never owned it.

Last fall, my coach challenged me to integrate gratitude as part of my daily routine. With all my might, I resisted. I failed to recognize the benefits that fully embracing gratitude offered me. Given my life-long challenges, it is easy to see why I struggled to accept this challenge?

Being a coach myself, I knew resistance was a sure sign I was ignoring something that required my attention. After some self-talk, I reluctantly accepted the challenge. I set my intention to connect to what I was grateful for and to deeply feel gratitude when people offered it to me.

To be successful, I had to design an easy fail-safe daily practice. My practice needed to provoke my curiosity, expand my focus and clarity, and create a repeatable plan of action for inviting more gratitude into my life.

I turned to social media for my solution. Here is the practice I designed.

Every day during the month of November, I would tweet or update my Facebook status with something I was grateful for. Each update would focus on something new I was grateful for. I could not repeat the same tweet or subject matter. When I was offered gratitude, I would honor the person’s offering. Externally, I would acknowledge the offering and say “Thank You.”  Internally, I would tell myself I am loved and worthy to receive this gratitude offering.

November came and I began my practice. My practice was limited to my daily tweets for the first 2 weeks or so. Then something magical happened, people in my life started telling me how much they appreciated me. At first, it was just a couple of random occurrences, and then it became a daily occurrence. The more frequent they came, the more I struggle to hold onto my old beliefs. I started embracing my contribution and letting go of my struggle.

My daily gratitude efforts delivered everything I wanted and more. I fell in love with my life again. I owned my struggle. I continue to practice gratitude daily and I hope you are inspired to do the same.

Are you up for the challenge?

Please join me in 30 days of daily status updates about something you are grateful.

If you are using Twitter, please add the hashtag #30Gratitude to your tweets so we can follow along and celebrate your success. On Facebook, “like” the WeVivify page and tag your status with WeVivify (@WeVivify).

Over investment in someone else’s dream comes at a great personal cost to ours.  We slowly forget what is important to us. We compromise our personal belief structure.  We please the dreamer, not ourselves. Over identification leads us to lose sight of who we are. We wake up one day wondering what happened to our lives, feeling lost and uninspired.

Are you over invested in someone else’s dream or your own?

You do not want to hand over the keys to your life to me or anyone else. You control your destiny. You can choose to change course right here, right now. Living your dreams begins by allowing yourself dream again and envision a new future for yourself.

Answer this question:

If my daily activities were consistent with my beliefs and dreams, then I would be doing _________________ ?

Anything is possible. The only limits we have in life are the ones we place on ourselves. Release your limited expectations and open yourself to the wonderful possibilities that await you. Seeing your life as limitless possibilities is your path to your inner wisdom.

Align with your true self and you will live your dreams.

What can you commit to doing right now to begin living your dreams?

People are ready to support you in achieving your dreams. Living our dreams begins by telling people about them.

Let’s make this commitment real.

Muster up the courage and leave a comment with your dream and what step you are going to take right now. Take the first step.

Begin living your dreams right here, right now.

What conversation are you avoiding at all cost? No it’s not that one. Come on…you can dig a little deeper. You know the one I am talking about. You occasionally think about it, chew on it, and quickly let it go. Only it never goes away. The thought of actually having the conversation is enough to make you want to crawl back under the covers and curl up in a ball.

At this rate, you will never have this important conversation.

What are you afraid of?

We learn a lot of ways, but nothing accelerates our learning faster than allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable is not a one size fits all strategy nor is it as extreme as the request I made in the opening paragraph. Let start smaller.

In your next conversation, can you share more than generic run of the mill facts about yourself? Can you share more than mindless conversation about current events or the weather? Can you share your true thoughts and feelings? Can you?

Are you capable of emotionally exposing yourself?

I believe you can. In fact, I know you can.

Why am I so confident? I used to be like you. I was a very private person.  I bottled my feelings and needs up inside and refused to share them. As a result, I hid from my true self.  I hid from what gives me life. I deprived myself of what I wanted most.  All because I failed to share what I wanted with people who could have helped me along the way.

By avoiding the conversations I wanted to have, I locked the door to possibilities. I kept the key hidden inside me. A little bit of sharing would have elevated and invited others to do the same. Together, we could have unlocked the doors to deeper more meaningful conversation.  A little courage was all that was needed.

Failing to be vulnerable undermines our ability to fully express our true selves and prevents us from getting what we want in life.

If we are not being our true selves, then who are we?

Be bold. Be courageous. Be YOU.