REPEAT AFTER ME….There is no such thing as work life balance.

Work life balance is propaganda for the unconscious masses.

You will not find your dream life pursuing work life balance. Instead, you find yourself living in a nightmare.

Your dreams will die chasing this mythical unachievable high wire balancing act.

There is no separation between your personal and professional lives. 

We are the same person at work as we are at home. Try as we might, we cannot separate the two.

We are one whole human being. Our human components do not exist separately.

We have a conscious mind that loves to think and rationalize.

We have sub-conscious mind full of history, beliefs, attitudes, and emotional feelings.

We have spirit that seeks love, purpose, and meaning.

We have a body the provides the functional energy we need to live.

No matter where you go, you are there as one fully integrated human being.

We cannot deny this inevitable indisputable truth. We know no other way, but to be a whole human being.

We are who we are. Others are who they are. It’s time to stop separating these facts from reality.

Our futile attempts to seek a work life balance only serve to push us further away from our truth.

Chasing dreams requires finding our truth and finding a way to fully integrated all aspects of our being into everything we do.

Satisfaction comes from knowing we have fulfilled our needs and desires. Satisfaction is defined by living a life true to ourself, not a life others expect of us.

Aren’t you tired of trying to satisfy someone else’s needs and desires? 

Yet, every day the masses willingly choose to sacrifice their own personal satisfaction for professional satisfaction or vice-a-versa.

It’s time to put ourselves first. We are a fully integrated human being who desires both a personal and professionally satisfying life. It’s time to stop pretending we are not.

Our lives belong to us. We control the choices we make.

We choose to make choices that compromise or support our satisfaction. We answer to our decisions.

Give up this silly notion of Work Life Balance and start seeking personal and professional satisfaction in everything you do.

Start NOW. Say YES to the things that have meaning to you. Skip the rest.

Make choices that prioritize both your personal and professional satisfaction.

Your dream life demands it!

Ever try driving a car with no hands and the peddle to the metal? Fear sets in…we are going to DIE!!! We pray for an unending straight away with no obstacles. Only one thing can result from this kind of reckless behavior…an epic crash!!!

Putting our hands on the steering wheel dramatically increases the thrill and excitement as we negotiate the road at high-speed. Heart-pumping adrenaline rush…we are alive!!!

Living without a sense of what we want is akin to driving with no hands on the wheel. An epic crash awaits without taking proactive action towards creating the life we desire.

What do you want?

Wants are not material desires. They are not the next iPhone or a new Macbook Air. Wants are much more satisfying and deeper than that. They are an emotional desire, something we crave or would like to accomplish. Desires excite and motivate us into action.

Determining our emotional wants does not come naturally. If it did, we would already know what we want and this discussion could end right here.

Passionate action comes from being connected to who we are, what we care about, and what we want. Here’s a few ways I’ve found helpful in determining what we want.

When was the last time you had conversation for future possibility with yourself?

In this conversation, you are only going to focus on what you want. Irrelevant thoughts, challenges, and risks will creep in. Acknowledge and park them in a parking lot for another time. This conversation is too important to let your resistance and fears get in the way.

Please try to avoid jumping straight into action. Reactive action puts us in the driver seat of a high-speed car without a steering wheel. Before we put our foot on the gas, we better be sure we want to travel down road in front of us.

Without wants, it’s easy to fall into the trap of doing to do.

Feeding our wants fuels our passion and thirst for life. We take action by following what is in our own heart. This is not what the market, your friends, or your family wants you to do. This is what do you and only you want.  Only you know what that is. Follow you.

What do you care about?  

Living our dreams is about committing to a world we care about. Operating on our cares enables us to be a part of something bigger than our selves. Freeing us to confidently be who we are in the world. The more connected you become to your cares, the easier it is to get behind the wheel and race at higher speeds.

What have you thought about doing, again and again, but have never started doing?

Thought, ideas, and feelings we repeatedly have are clues to what we desire most. What patterns of reoccurrence of these desires do you notice? Capture these events any way you can. Write a journal, take photos, shoot video, draw, paint, etc. Find a way to establish a tighter connect to what your heart desires. Need some guidance getting started? Take a quick personal inventory here.

The road of life is a journey that is full of heart pounding adrenaline pumping moments. Find what you want, and you will find all you are looking for.

What do you want?

Warning: Don’t believe this next statement unless you want to flourish.

We already know our future if we don’t continually take proactive action.

Our economic well-being demands perpetual reinvention. As the old saying goes, reinvent or die. This no longer a fancy tagline, it is required action to survive and succeed in today’s economic climate.

The days are long gone when a company could create a product and reap the rewards of its success for years to come.  Present day examples are all around you.

• Facebook was king of the castle and Twitter was the knight in shiny armor. Now there’s Google +. Remember MySpace? Me neither.
• Flip Camera ruled the pocket video cam game.  Now, your smartphone does.
• Mobile Apps are replacing websites and higher costs software programs.
• iPads are being integrated into the classroom and teaching our kids in a new way.

The list goes on and on. Product shelf lives are shrinking at a rapid pace.

New bright shiny objects capture the consumer attention faster than a speeding bullet. The masses will flock and cast aside what they once loved and cherished in favor of the new promised life-altering product. Blink and the next attraction will be on the horizon.

We already know our future if we don’t continually reinvent ourselves.

This concept does not stop at products; it extends into who you are, and what you want to be.

Look around at your co-workers, family, and friends. How many of them are doing jobs they are classically trained to do?  Are they highly skilled at their job or do their skills reside in a different area of expertise?  Are they satisfied and happy?

Chances are, these people are like most of the people I encounter every day. They are playing a role in their organization in order to survive, not thrive.

We can live a deeply meaningful life by continually reinventing ourselves.

Just like products run their course, so do roles we play in life.  We know our current role will come to an end.

Will we be ready when our new role emerges? Will it provide the deep personal meaning we are looking for?

We know everything we need to know right now to make a reasonable guess as to where things are headed.

Are you ready to reinvent?

Car chase scenes pump adrenaline rushing through my veins. There is nothing better than a well-done car chase scene. Action movie makers know how to capture this feeling with the greatest of ease.  They know how to make the audience feel alive.

Speed, destruction and thrill are the name of the game.  We immerse ourselves into the scene and vicariously participate in the action.  We want to be living on the edge of uncertainty driving the lead car.

We want to live with adrenaline rushing through our veins.

Successfully escaping pursuit cars require the driver to trust his instincts and intuition, to anticipate and make quick decisions quickly, to solely focus on escaping.

Focusing on risks or fears will surely lead to a deadly crash or capture.  Survival instincts push the pursuit car drivers into taking risks and pushing their fears aside.

The pursuit driver knows “why” he is escaping. He is emotional connected to his path and purpose.  He is not thinking about the beach he is escaping to or the meeting he had with his boss that morning. He is intensely focused on living in the present moment. Everything else is irrelevant.

Passionate action inspires and motivates the driver.

Mistakes are just another pothole in the road. There is no time to dwell on them. There is only time to proactively focus situation and recalculate his escape path.

Knowing our “why” drives us to make pursuit driver decisions, to believe we will escape our pursuers, and reach the beach of our dreams.

Without an adrenaline rush, we are just a movie goer watching the car chase scene on the big screen.

Are you chasing your dreams or are you pursuing your fears?

Action makes your ideas happen. Action creates momentum. Action brings the support you need to succeed.

Make that phone call. Write that blog post. Tweet that idea.

Be fearless. Share what you want.

Alternatively, you can sit on your bum and wait for the phone to ring or the support to arrive.

Life sucks when we do nothing.

Taking action is about making a choice to take action.

Will you live by your actions or be paralyzed by your inaction?

Seize the momentum. Make your ideas happen.

Take fearless action.

What was the last thing you made?

This should be an easy question to answer, but it is not.  When I think of the word “made,” I limit my thinking to actually producing something physically tangible. I think of my Dad and Grand Father. They worked with their hands everyday of their lives. Me, not so much.

My grand father worked in a steel mill. When he was not making railroad wheels, he was inventing some sort of contraption. He invented a trailer hitch which he installed in hundreds of cars and trucks.  His work was not limited to iron creations. He made birdhouses, wood airplanes and boats. His wood shop was second to none and the envy to all who spent time with him in it. Mostly, I experienced his life’s passion through his hand-made stories.

My dad is cut from the same cloth.  He is a general contractor. His choice of profession gives him an opportunity to create daily with his hands. Whether he is remodeling a kitchen, painting a bathroom, or fixing a broken door, one thing rings true, he loves to see his client’s faces at the end of the project. Nothing energizes his soul more than knowing he made a difference for them. His life’s stories are filled with using his hands to overcome life’s problems. I can spend hours listening to the passion in his stories.

I have not followed their lead. I don’t have the same passion for working with my hands.

Last weekend, I celebrated my birthday by working with my hands to get the yard ready for winter. I raked leaves, cut grass, trimmed bushes, removed dead branches, and cleaned out the shed. My hands made the yard looked beautiful. I felt proud of my efforts and had a deep sense of accomplishment.

The next day, I awoke not with the urge to do something with my hands but with the relief the task was finished. I was done with the heavy lifting until spring. My sense of joy and accomplishment had passed as quickly as it came.

I have chosen a different path.  I make stuff with my words.  I write. I lead. I teach. I try to inspire others to become the best version of them selves. In that journey, I become the best version of myself.

Perhaps, I need to redefine what “making something” really means to me. Perhaps the question I really need to answer is…

What was the last thing I made?

Life is full of wonderful joyful moments. Glorious moments show up in all shapes and sizes.

Joy is ours to own and experience.

The best joyous experiences arrive unknowingly.

• Becoming a dad
• Kindness of strangers
• Quality Family Time
• Giving a yourself to others

I could write a longer more extensive list but that is not the point. Every day is filled with subtle opportunities to deliver us joy.

Joy is deeply personal.

Pure joy touches all the senses and knocks the experience out of the ballpark. Pure joy shakes us to the core. When the moment passes, we continue to physically and emotionally crave it.

I can recall an experience in vivid detail from 15+ years ago.  I often call this my “happy place.”

I was vacationing at Kiawah Island in the mid 90’s over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I really wanted to play golf at the Ocean Course but could not bring myself to drop a couple hundred dollars on a round.  So, I did the next best thing.  I drove to the course and used the practice facilities.

I immediately became lost in the moment.  Love at first step out of the car. My adrenaline was pumping, my heart was racing, and strangely, I had a calm sense of belonging. I was not an invited guest to this moment.  I was the moment and the moment was I.

As I chipped and putted on the greens, I felt my creative juices come alive. I was trying shots I had never attempted before. I was visualizing lines to the hole like never before. I felt invincible. I could make any shot I attempted. When I missed, I never gave it a second thought. I just let it go and moved on to the next shot.

Time went by. I was in complete flow.

I moved over to the driving range.  The only thing that separates the range from the beach is a thin set of sand dunes. I can still feel the gentle ocean breeze and hear the crashing of the waves. I was in heaven. The peaceful quiet splendor filled my heart with joy.  I relaxed like I never had before.

I was a very erratic golfer in those days. Barely broke the triple digits and sprayed the ball around the outfield with the best of them. I had fleeting moments, but never anything like this.

On that day, I hit golf shots with the greatest of ease. There wasn’t a shot I could not make.  I found joy in everything I did.

I have practiced on the Ocean Course 8-10 times since.  Each and every time I have found the same joy.  Living in joy is where I belong. Living in joy is where you belong.

What brings you pure joy?

Over investment in someone else’s dream comes at a great personal cost to ours.  We slowly forget what is important to us. We compromise our personal belief structure.  We please the dreamer, not ourselves. Over identification leads us to lose sight of who we are. We wake up one day wondering what happened to our lives, feeling lost and uninspired.

Are you over invested in someone else’s dream or your own?

You do not want to hand over the keys to your life to me or anyone else. You control your destiny. You can choose to change course right here, right now. Living your dreams begins by allowing yourself dream again and envision a new future for yourself.

Answer this question:

If my daily activities were consistent with my beliefs and dreams, then I would be doing _________________ ?

Anything is possible. The only limits we have in life are the ones we place on ourselves. Release your limited expectations and open yourself to the wonderful possibilities that await you. Seeing your life as limitless possibilities is your path to your inner wisdom.

Align with your true self and you will live your dreams.

What can you commit to doing right now to begin living your dreams?

People are ready to support you in achieving your dreams. Living our dreams begins by telling people about them.

Let’s make this commitment real.

Muster up the courage and leave a comment with your dream and what step you are going to take right now. Take the first step.

Begin living your dreams right here, right now.

Living our dreams begins by telling people about them.

What dreams do you have?  Who can you share your dreams with?

Human beings enjoy traveling through life without taking great risks. Our monkey brains attempt to protect us by seeking safety and security of the known.  In reality, they only support a life of limited growth and status quo. To live our dreams, we must create an environment where our monkey brains view our dreams as a safe and secure as a known entity.

How do we do that? The answer is simple and only requires courage to get the process started.

Are you ready to live your dreams?

Try this experiment.

• Write down your dream in one or two sentences.
• Make a top 10 list on how achieving this dream will change and enrich your life.
• Over the next 48 hours, share your dream and the top 10 list with as many people as you can
• Ask the person to summarize what you said in 3 words
• Thank them for their time and ask them to support you in your journey
• After each interaction, record your impressions of the conversation.

After you have completed this experiment, come back to this post and share your impressions.

What pattern emerged in the conversations?  What happened to you as you repeatedly told the same story?

Are you closer to living your dreams?

The last couple of posts (Re-Gifting, Unwrap your gifts )  have focused on bringing your natural gifts into the forefront of your life. In doing so, we share ourselves in a more authentic way.  We show up in every interaction and situation consciously bearing our gifts.  People recognized what we have to offer and crawl out of the woodwork to receive what we have to offer.  Maybe they always have, but now we are keenly aware of it.

There is something different about it this time around.  Even though we are uncomfortable sitting in the spot light, we like the new-found attention.  It’s an odd, strange feeling to moderately enjoy attention.  We feel good about ourselves and passively seek more. Our old habits and voice tell us to escape back to the safety and comfort of a quiet place. We know this no longer fits our description of who we are.  We no longer want to keep our gifts from the world.  We want to share them and experience all the great feelings this attention bring to us. We crave more.

What do we do with all this new-found glory?

The answer is simple….we take our gifts and we apply them to the things we CARE about most.

A much harder question is what do you CARE about?

CAREs are our highest-level needs, our inner burning desires, or our own personal conditions for satisfaction.  They are ideals that we live by (i.e. I am a loving husband), things we are passionate about (i.e. I am helping others find their passion for life), or lofty goals (I am saving money for my kid’s college tuition).  Living by our CAREs is intrinsically part of our lives.

The more we embody our CAREs; the more purposefully we act and the more meaning we have to our life. We take ownership and responsibility for our actions and in-actions. We begin to reduce our emotional attached to things that are not aligned with our CAREs. We invite playful energy and lightness into our daily lives. Our daily intentions, actions and commitments are clear and resolute.  We are aligned with who our soul desires us to be.

What you CARE about?