I’m wired to curiously explore the world I live in. To find finds ways to expand my comfort zone and go beyond what’s obvious to me.  I’m learning to unlearn the patterns of behavior that do not serve me.

I want to become the best version of myself and I want to help you do the same.

I’d never ask you to change or become the person I think you can be.  I want to inspire and motivate you into taking the deeply satisfying journey I am on.

Are you willing to unlearn and rewire your patterns?

Every day we get up and settle into playing roles. Roles push us into routines to comfortably cruise through the day, weeks, months, and years.

Routines are safe, comfortable and best friends with the reactive status quo.  They are fueled by the energy of doing to do.  Heads down and focused only on what is in front of us; never seeing the big picture in our lives.

I don’t want to spend my time and energy knocking things off a to-do list, handling the crisis du jour, watching the latest celebrity train wrecks, and getting up the next morning to repeat the same routine. I don’t want to live like that.

I want to be the superstar actor who gets to pick and choose the roles he plays.

Healthy proactively focused routines push us towards a life worth living. Our attention focuses on creating a future filled with new possibilities.

We look for and embrace new opportunities and experiences. We are curious and are always asking questions. We seek to expand our awareness of who we are and how the world sees us. We strive to become the best version of ourselves. We commit to the process.

I can’t just teach. I have to become more teachable myself.

How can I become the best version of myself if I am unwilling to challenges my attitude and belief system. I have to become a better student. I have to be willing to unlearn. I have to believe there is always more to learn.

Every moment provides an opportunity to learn and expand our possibilities.

Becoming teachable is not a quick fix magical smoothie we can drink for breakfast. It’s a lifelong practice of learning, unlearning, and relearning again.

Only you can decide if you are truly teachable.

Are you teachable?

Ever try driving a car with no hands and the peddle to the metal? Fear sets in…we are going to DIE!!! We pray for an unending straight away with no obstacles. Only one thing can result from this kind of reckless behavior…an epic crash!!!

Putting our hands on the steering wheel dramatically increases the thrill and excitement as we negotiate the road at high-speed. Heart-pumping adrenaline rush…we are alive!!!

Living without a sense of what we want is akin to driving with no hands on the wheel. An epic crash awaits without taking proactive action towards creating the life we desire.

What do you want?

Wants are not material desires. They are not the next iPhone or a new Macbook Air. Wants are much more satisfying and deeper than that. They are an emotional desire, something we crave or would like to accomplish. Desires excite and motivate us into action.

Determining our emotional wants does not come naturally. If it did, we would already know what we want and this discussion could end right here.

Passionate action comes from being connected to who we are, what we care about, and what we want. Here’s a few ways I’ve found helpful in determining what we want.

When was the last time you had conversation for future possibility with yourself?

In this conversation, you are only going to focus on what you want. Irrelevant thoughts, challenges, and risks will creep in. Acknowledge and park them in a parking lot for another time. This conversation is too important to let your resistance and fears get in the way.

Please try to avoid jumping straight into action. Reactive action puts us in the driver seat of a high-speed car without a steering wheel. Before we put our foot on the gas, we better be sure we want to travel down road in front of us.

Without wants, it’s easy to fall into the trap of doing to do.

Feeding our wants fuels our passion and thirst for life. We take action by following what is in our own heart. This is not what the market, your friends, or your family wants you to do. This is what do you and only you want.  Only you know what that is. Follow you.

What do you care about?  

Living our dreams is about committing to a world we care about. Operating on our cares enables us to be a part of something bigger than our selves. Freeing us to confidently be who we are in the world. The more connected you become to your cares, the easier it is to get behind the wheel and race at higher speeds.

What have you thought about doing, again and again, but have never started doing?

Thought, ideas, and feelings we repeatedly have are clues to what we desire most. What patterns of reoccurrence of these desires do you notice? Capture these events any way you can. Write a journal, take photos, shoot video, draw, paint, etc. Find a way to establish a tighter connect to what your heart desires. Need some guidance getting started? Take a quick personal inventory here.

The road of life is a journey that is full of heart pounding adrenaline pumping moments. Find what you want, and you will find all you are looking for.

What do you want?

Car chase scenes pump adrenaline rushing through my veins. There is nothing better than a well-done car chase scene. Action movie makers know how to capture this feeling with the greatest of ease.  They know how to make the audience feel alive.

Speed, destruction and thrill are the name of the game.  We immerse ourselves into the scene and vicariously participate in the action.  We want to be living on the edge of uncertainty driving the lead car.

We want to live with adrenaline rushing through our veins.

Successfully escaping pursuit cars require the driver to trust his instincts and intuition, to anticipate and make quick decisions quickly, to solely focus on escaping.

Focusing on risks or fears will surely lead to a deadly crash or capture.  Survival instincts push the pursuit car drivers into taking risks and pushing their fears aside.

The pursuit driver knows “why” he is escaping. He is emotional connected to his path and purpose.  He is not thinking about the beach he is escaping to or the meeting he had with his boss that morning. He is intensely focused on living in the present moment. Everything else is irrelevant.

Passionate action inspires and motivates the driver.

Mistakes are just another pothole in the road. There is no time to dwell on them. There is only time to proactively focus situation and recalculate his escape path.

Knowing our “why” drives us to make pursuit driver decisions, to believe we will escape our pursuers, and reach the beach of our dreams.

Without an adrenaline rush, we are just a movie goer watching the car chase scene on the big screen.

Are you chasing your dreams or are you pursuing your fears?

When the answers to our questions become obvious, then we have stopped flexing our imagination muscles. Pushing beyond the comforts of our default response occurs by accessing our imagination to explore the less apparent.

Imagination powerfully puts aside the past behaviors and outcomes to focus on the possibilities of the present moment. Right now is the opportunity to uncover new possibilities for our self.

Imagination is an expression our soul’s desires.

I used to be an avid golfer. I played 40+ rounds per year and carried a 10 handicap.  I cherish the memories of playing some of the world’s greatest golf courses. I learned so much about myself while chasing a white ball.

I shot my best rounds when I allowed my imagination to rule my play. Instead of analyzing and playing it safe, I‘d look for the most fun creative shot I could find and take it.

My simple philosophy was, don’t think, visualize, commit, swing.

The more imaginative detailed I added to my pre-shot visualization, the more successful I was in committing to and executing the shot. Visualize the line and target and watch the magic happen.

I did not arrive at this place easily.  I practiced. I failed, and then I practiced again and again.

First time I relied solely on my imagination was absolutely magical.

I was in Myrtle Beach with the guys as part of an annual golf getaway. We did not play your typical leisure rounds on these trips. Games were highly competitive with more than a few dollars on the line.

Round 1 was a disaster. I found every bunker on the course en route to a 116. Easily the worst round I had shot in years.  I choked under the pressure and allow external events beat me.

As I prepared for round 2, the obvious choice would have been to focus swing mechanics. I choose not to worry about them and to visualize every shot. It worked!  After 8 holes, I was 2 over par.  Then, I did the unthinkable; I abandoned my plan and stopped visualizing.  Failure quickly followed.

Three double bogeys later I was standing on the 12th tee shaking my head in disbelief. I recommitted to visualization and righted the ship finishing the day with an 84, 32 shots better than the day before.

My imagination helped me put aside behaviors that were preventing me from being more successful.

New possibilities were born by exploring the less obvious. I accomplished something I had only dreamed about. I did it! I shot a round of golf in the 80’s. In doing so I honored a part of me I was suppressing.

Using our imagination is honoring our soul’s desires.

Harnessing the power of your imagination is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

How can you let your imagination run free?

Don’t you just love action films? They accelerate our heart rate and get our adrenaline pumping. Our bodies release endorphins that excite and energize us. We get lost in the flow of the action, lose track of time, and never want the film to end.

Lost in the flow of daily life can be a lot like a good action movie.

One of my favorite icebreaker questions to ask is, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Most responses are predictable; people say they are not going to grow up.

Life does not require us to grow up.  If fact, life does not require us to do anything.

Whatever words are used to answer this question is not as important as the emotion and body language used to respond. I can begin to discern if the person is passive or aggressive in taking action for himself or herself.

We can choose to coast through our daily lives or we can work on our legacy everyday.

Thinking about our legacy is a daunting task. I thought about the subject quite a bit and I have some ideas about what my legacy might be, but I am sure they are just today’s ideas.

What I’ve figured out is my ideas are ever-changing and evolving. What I thought was most important a year ago is not something I consider as relevant today.

My final destination and contribution is largely unknown to me.

I like the mystery of the unknown. It keeps me moving forward. Keeps me in action.

Forging ahead every day is the only way I know. I push the boundaries of my comfort zone on a daily basis. I test and re-test ideas I have on as many people as I can. In the process I learn something about them and I learn something about myself.

Every action taken is a step towards fulfilling my unknown legacy.

Coasting is great for saving gas and recharging your batteries, but it is no way to live your daily life.

We have 1,440 minutes every day to take action. How many will you spend taking action towards your unknown legacy?

Will your life be an action film worth watching?

What was the last thing you made?

This should be an easy question to answer, but it is not.  When I think of the word “made,” I limit my thinking to actually producing something physically tangible. I think of my Dad and Grand Father. They worked with their hands everyday of their lives. Me, not so much.

My grand father worked in a steel mill. When he was not making railroad wheels, he was inventing some sort of contraption. He invented a trailer hitch which he installed in hundreds of cars and trucks.  His work was not limited to iron creations. He made birdhouses, wood airplanes and boats. His wood shop was second to none and the envy to all who spent time with him in it. Mostly, I experienced his life’s passion through his hand-made stories.

My dad is cut from the same cloth.  He is a general contractor. His choice of profession gives him an opportunity to create daily with his hands. Whether he is remodeling a kitchen, painting a bathroom, or fixing a broken door, one thing rings true, he loves to see his client’s faces at the end of the project. Nothing energizes his soul more than knowing he made a difference for them. His life’s stories are filled with using his hands to overcome life’s problems. I can spend hours listening to the passion in his stories.

I have not followed their lead. I don’t have the same passion for working with my hands.

Last weekend, I celebrated my birthday by working with my hands to get the yard ready for winter. I raked leaves, cut grass, trimmed bushes, removed dead branches, and cleaned out the shed. My hands made the yard looked beautiful. I felt proud of my efforts and had a deep sense of accomplishment.

The next day, I awoke not with the urge to do something with my hands but with the relief the task was finished. I was done with the heavy lifting until spring. My sense of joy and accomplishment had passed as quickly as it came.

I have chosen a different path.  I make stuff with my words.  I write. I lead. I teach. I try to inspire others to become the best version of them selves. In that journey, I become the best version of myself.

Perhaps, I need to redefine what “making something” really means to me. Perhaps the question I really need to answer is…

What was the last thing I made?

What does the phrase “finding my voice” mean to you?

Does is mean:

a)    I no longer have laryngitis

b)   My singing lessons are finally paying off

c)    Puberty is now a distant memory

d)   I am communicating according to who I am

Any one of these responses could be correct.

My answer is “D.”

This past year has been about finding my voice. I’ve learned to use my words to more accurately reflect what I am feeling and thinking.  I am able to bring my true authentic self to every conversation and interaction. I have found safety and comfort to be my true self in the world. As I result, I am helping others do the same.

2010 is the year I found my voice.

Every monumental step forward is the result of intense focus and energy.  I spent countless hours searching and discovering my voice.

I read books/blogs on communicating, storytelling, and writing. I wrote countless blog posts and while only publishing 30 of them.  I tweeted upwards of 4,000 times. Each tweet game me a chance to craft and hone my skills. I taught basic writing exercises. I taught basic social media communication exercises.  I practiced saying what I had to say in as few as words as possible.

I worked hard to transform my communication skills.

The road to mastery is 10,000 hours long. It feels good to leave the rest stop and head on down the road.

2011 brings with it a new road conditions. Will the road be straight or full of curves? Will I be able to drive fast or slow?  Will there be good music on the radio? That’s a silly question. Of course there will be.

I believe 2011 will be about paving new roads. Honing my craft. Exploring new communities. Building new relationships. Growing a shared connection and meaning.

Expansion. Yeah, that’s the word.

What one word would you use to describe what 2011 holds for you?

What are you accepting in your life?

Huh? What in the world, am I asking?  Sure, I admit this is a vague open-ended question. I assure you it has a very simple yet complex answer.  Well, at least that is my expectation.

Acceptance is the ability to find safety and comfort to be who we are in the world.

We spoke last time about resistance being the doorway to action . We cannot step into the doorway and begin breaking down our barriers of resistance without accepting situations and ourselves, as they are, nothing more, nothing less.

When we accept, we exercise patience, compassion, and generosity.  We are more curious about the world we live and present with who we truly are. We naturally establish and maintain healthy personal boundaries. We allow people and situations to come and go without disrupting our overall happiness and flow in the world.

Theoretically, this all makes sense and seems relatively easy to understand, so why is it so hard to accomplish?

Humans have this thing called expectations we carry around with us. They affect the outcome of everything we observe and experience.  Expectations are entrenched in stories we tell ourselves. They are mental debris that weight us down and suck the energy and focus from what we want.

Have you ever noticed how your expectations leave a sour taste in our mouth when things do not go as you planned?  How much excess weight are you unnecessarily carrying around with you?

The world does not care about your expectations, or mine.

The only expectations we can try to satisfy is our own.  Yet, we routinely place our unspoken expectations on people and situations.  We are unknowingly sacrificing our own happiness.

We can learn to let go of our expectations and allow life to unfold. We alone are responsible for our lives. We can learn to allow. We can remove our judgment, expectations, and conditions of satisfaction from our experience. We can remove the burden of expectations we carry around with us. We can learn to experience people and situations from a first timer’s point of view.

We can unconditionally accept people, situations, and ourselves from who we are.  

Think it is impossible, what is stopping you from trying to be more unconditionally accepting?

“Resisting something is a sure sign you are supposed to be doing it. The greater your resistance, the more important it is to you.”

A few weeks ago, I tweeted this thought. Today, I am still grappling with it as much as I was when I originally wrote it.

Do you feel some resistance to it as well?

I thought you might.  I invite you to read my thoughts and add your own. Together, we can explore the validity of this concept. Deal?  Here goes.

When something we have not accepted as a given for ourselves enters our awareness, our natural human inclination kicks in and we begin to erect the walls of resistance.

We may become defensive, take things personally, make excuses, and justify our actions. More importantly, we will most likely close ourselves to new ideas, other people’s perspective, and further entrench ourselves in our current understanding and stance. We withdraw from the conversation and start to protect ourselves.

Our language continues to spew out rationalizations, complaints, and outspoken opposition. Emotionally, we harbor feelings of blame, shame, guilt, jealousy, pessimism, frustration, anger, and depression.

The stronger our emotional reaction, the more likely our resistance is related to a core challenge we face in life.

Emotional warning signs are opportunities to examine aspects of our lives that are holding us back. We welcome what we allow. We resent what we resist. This is a perfect time to allow something new to emerge in our lives.

If we choose to meet these opportunities with the same type of resistance we have been discussing, then we ensure a quick trip to the back of the life learning line. Awareness opportunities are neither good nor bad. They are simply a chance to learn something new about us and to make a choice without self-judgment.

New awareness opens the doorway to new possibilities for us. Our thirst for change awakens and our creative juices freely flow. We no longer resist the unknown. We make a friend of change. We trust the choices we make. We live more freely.

What do you think?  Did this strike you in any particular way? What emotion are you feeling?

Do not resist the urge to leave a comment, let it out.  Sharing our point of view adds to the community conversation in ways we cannot imagine.  I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the concept at hand.

Have you ever had this conversation with someone, perhaps even yourself. It goes something like this; I wish I could find a different job. My job sucks, my boss does not appreciate me, they do not pay me enough, workplace morale sucks, this company is going no where, and I’ll be happy when I find another job.

We have a built-in natural resistance steering us toward these thoughts and opinions. Our culture has taught us to over identifying who we are based on the work we do. We in turn base our general happiness on whether or not we enjoy the work we do.

Are you attached to who society wants you to be or are you living your life?

There is an interesting paradox that develops when you shift the conversation from work life to personal life. People fall into two camps, they are either as miserable at home as they are in the office or they claim to be completely happy in their personal life. Either way, I think they are disillusioned and not really aware of how the toxicity of their 9-5 work life is crushing their personal happiness.

Think I am wrong….maybe you are disillusioned yourself.

I promise you this is not a permanent condition unless you want it to be. We have choices we can make. We can choose to continue living this charade or we can called it what it is and take action to make the changes that lead towards the happiness we desire.

My journey is not dissimilar to the journey many are living. I used to think I was completely different at work than I was in my personal life. I live in disillusionment. I live in sadness. I longed to be happy.

I drifted along from task to task, boss to boss, job to job searching for meaning and happiness in my work life. I adhered to their rules (most of the time). I aligned my actions with their agenda. I lived by their expectations. I took my happiness from their happiness. I rationalized my compromising behavior. I told myself financial security was more important than the work I did. I gave away what was most important to me….I gave away ME!!!!!!

What message did I send to the people I loved at home when I was unhappy and continued to pour my energy and commitment into meaningless work? Working in that environment did not bring me joy and showing up as me in my life is what matters most to me.

This give away is not without some benefit to me. Being a life long learner, this type of learning experiences is exactly what I am looking for.  They lay the foundation for even greater learning.  I am a few years removed from this life stage and I continue to build on these lessons.

Our experience of happiness and meaning in life is influenced by who we are –as much as what we are doing. We have two paths to change. We either change the activity we are doing or we change ourselves.

Are you ready to raise the curtain to your true self?